The getting referrals without asking process (Part 1)

I’ve been hard at work over the last month writing my whole getting referrals without asking program, and it’s a bit lengthy. Over the next three weeks, I’m going to be dropping it into your email, yet it’s a bit lengthy (bordering on 15,000 words right now - you’ve been warned).

However, (110% biased as I am…), I believe it is easily one of the best, easiest-to-follow, and quickest-to-use resources on the planet for getting all the referrals you could possibly imagine from the proverbial hoard of clients.

My goal is to switch the whole process of getting referrals – if you’re someone who has to beg, borrow and steal to get referrals from clients, strangers, prospects and COIs who end up being crummy (ie. Not your ideal client) to:

A Horde of Clients Who Will Hunt You Down Instead

If this all seems impossible, I can assure you it’s not.

It’s something I’ve taught many times, and it’s something some of my Advisor’s use on a daily basis to keep driving referrals into their business.

Best part?

All that is required is that you be a normal human being. Are you a normal human being?

Frankly, I believe…

You Can Be A Brand, Spanking Newbie Fresh Off The Turnip Truck And Still Make This Work

To give you some context about what you’re going to learn, I want to tell you a quick story about my buddy Kev about a long grindin’ “dry spell” he had many years ago, that resulted in Kev paying off all his debt (which he had accumulated a bunch in the pre-COVID era), got some of the best clients he’s ever had (sold his first $100K+ case) and launched a strategic partnership with an Accountant and Lawyer that has propelled him into the 7-figure club in subsequent years.

Here's what happened:

Like any Advisor in a dry spell, he had plenty of time on his hands (just not a lot of dollars in his bank account). He didn’t have any money for marketing or even really enough to take a client out to supper.

As well, he didn’t have a lot of clients to speak of. He did what a lot people did, sell to friends and family which paid a handsome amount. He felt like he was top of the world, but then he hit that Year 2 problem. He hadn’t cultivated his next group of clients to take him to the next level.

Bottom line?

Kev was in a situation with nearly no money to his name, but lots of time. He wasn’t getting referrals or if they did come in, they were few and far between. And, they were low quality, tire kicker types.

And, Kev was clearly not doing any of the things I’m going to teach you over the next few weeks, which would have made his results like 100x better than they were.

So the only thing Kev could think of doing was going out to see his existing clients. He would go and see them (and he knew this probably wouldn’t lead to any additional business, but he had the time) and help them with their tax returns, apply for benefits, update beneficiary forms. Really helping with anything financial with these so-called clients.

He was there to service them in anyway and be as helpful as possible.

He figured that if he could be helpful in some way, it might lead to a good outcome. Maybe someone would come over to the house that he’d be introduced to, or maybe they’d refer him business. Either way, he didn’t have anything else to do. So, being helpful made sense to him.

And needless to say…

He Ended Up Meeting A Lot Of People

Kev hadn’t at this point even read, “See The People”. Most of his clients were friends and family, extended relatives, friends of friends, etc. People he knew pretty well, but in his travels he’d always find something new, a new conversation, meet a new person coming over to the house. Maybe there’d be a plumber coming over or someone doing drywall or a friend coming over for tea.

Before I go further, I want to be clear about something:

Meeting random people who may or may not be your ideal client isn’t the purpose of my story. I’m simply trying to make a point about the value in helping people. I am not saying in anyway that you should be going to hangout at your client’s house in the off chance they have some people over.

My point is this: if you are helpful and you meet people, deals are surely to flow your way.

Obviously, the name of the game is to meet people, network and help them with their problems. You’ll see when I get to the meat of the process that you can super-target what you are doing. But, it’s going to all come down to helping people.

But, it wasn’t simply meeting people that made the difference. It was helping these people with problems they were having. Finding government forms to file for benefits or whatever it was. Being a helper has value.

But people don’t get a value service anymore. Everything is a delay. You can’t talk to a human. Use a computer. The list could go on.

But, when you start helping people with their problems you are taping into the universal law that will get you:

All The Hungry Clients You Want, Practically “Foaming At The Mouth” To Hire You

This is more true than exaggeration by the way.

But before I explain why, I want to make another thing clear:

When I say universal law, I’m not talking about some made-up thing espoused by those trying to sell tarot card readings or people who believe in the alignment of Mercury or crystal gazing or any of that “rah-rah” stuff. This is about a physical law that some of the greats have referred to as:

“The Law Of Cause And Effect”

And the gist of the law I’m referring to is this:

“If You Want To Have An Effect, You Have To Have A Cause.”

This works in all areas of your life. But, for our purposes here, I want to demonstrate how it will have an effect on your business and get you some cold hard referrals into your greedy little hands. Now, these referrals won’t just pop out of the unknown and you can’t just sit on your ‘ol rump doing nothing to get these referrals. You’ll have to go out and cause some change to get the effect you so desperately want. One of the oldest rules in the book – that so many Advisors seem to forget all about.

So, in the case of my friend Kev, his cause was going out and…

Seeing The People

Lots and lots of people.

And, the effect was that he started to get more deals, but more importantly, those people he was out there helping started to send him more referrals that led to even more clients.

These referrals started to come slowly at the beginning (and there was a “delayed fuse” to this, because he wasn’t doing it the right way, he was simply throwing everything at the wall to see what would stick, but I’ll teach you over the next few weeks the right things to do so you won’t make all the mistakes that Kev did in the start either). But the referrals started popping up, including some really big name referrals that came in, that Kev could have probably not gotten from any other method, including hard core advertising.

Whatever the case, clients came so reliably that I coined the phrase:

“The more prolific the meetings, the more frequent the referrals.”

I know this sounds very simplistic.

And frankly, it is simple. This isn’t rocket science. In fact, at this point, someone may be reading this and thinking:

“Gee Andrew, there’s nothing new here! I want something new.”

Patience, my young padawan. You will get what you need in due time, keep reading.

We will get to all the fun stuff in due time.

But for now, I’m simply laying the foundation.

It’s a very important foundation.

So, if you find yourself rolling your eyes at this and you don’t currently get more than enough referrals to fill your calendar (with your absolute ideal clients), then I want you to stop rolling your eyes and listen up and listen good…because that’s why you don’t have the clients you want. I know this because, Kev was there once. And countless other Advisors I’ve coached with this method were also there. I thought back in the day, I knew all there was to know, because I was learning all about financial planning and insurance and the whole business, I thought I also knew how to get clients, but as I found out…

Selling Insurance And Getting Clients Are Two Totally Different Animals

And being good at one does not mean you’re good at the other – something both Advisors and clients often painfully discover.

And guess what?

By combining a few simple principles of human nature…the Advisors I coached started snapping up amazing clients who they could never have got on their own. For example:

One of Kev’s biggest clients was a guy who came from a referral and just last year exited his (boring) business for more than $200 million, of which Kev got $50 million to manage. This was the type of client that was being hounded by all the big guns, big investment brokers, banks, etc. The business owner had a thriving business and was very successful. But this same business owner relied on his mother for guidance. His mother was a retired teacher, living off a pension, cousin talks so highly about Kev and how he helped the cousin that he got connected.

Long story short here: Kev’s cousin referred Kev to this woman who ended up loving Kev and the work he did so much, she referred (really sang his praises) to her son, who was this big-time business owner.

Now, there is no way that Kev could have ever got connected to this $200 million business owner on his own. He didn’t have the connections or the ins or whatever. But, he did play this game of meeting the people and providing massive value and people talked.

This business owner who loved and respected and listened to his mom (she connected the two of them and they really hit it off).

Even though Kev wasn’t in this high-end market, he was meeting a lot of people and providing a lot of value and people started to recognize how important he was to their financial life. And while not everyone will refer people, some people do. And, when they find someone who is truly amazing;

They Do Not Keep Quiet

Now there’s a way to optimize this whole process, because I’m sure you’re busy doing a lot of important things with clients, you don’t have time to go and “shoot the shit” with every Dick and Jane out there. You’ll have to pick your spots, but I’ll show you how to do that over the next few weeks, don’t you worry any of the hairs on your head about that.

I just want to make the impression on you, that the reason that Kev even got this opportunity had to do with all the meetings and help he was delivering to his (small) network of clients at that point. He could have sat on his hands and been sorry for himself that business wasn’t coming in. But, instead he went out and saw the people and looked for ways to help them.

Essentially, he tapped into the cause and effect that I’ve talked about before. If the effect you want to have is lots of referrals, well you need to be out there causing the things that will get people to see you in a positive light, so they send referrals.

I think you get it, right?

OK, so what happened after that? Well, Kev got that big client, and he was happy as a pig, you know what?

So, this business owner told him that he was going to go about selling his company in a couple years. And, Kev didn’t have the first idea about how to do that. So, this business owner was asking all these questions and Kev kept saying:

“I don’t know, but I’ll find out. I don’t know, but I’ll find out”. You get the point. He had no idea about the whole planning aspect – estate freezes, trusts, etc. So, he had to go and learn.

So, like any smart man, he went out and started connecting with Accountants and Lawyers. Not to get referrals (at least not at the beginning). He needed to learn and he’d say: I have this client who is worth $200M and selling his business in a few years and I need some help.

What do you think the response was to those meetings?

“Sure come on over, I’ll help you out.” Because these Accountants and Lawyers realized that this young Advisor was operating in circles they wanted into as well. He had the power of relationship on his side.

Anyways, Kev started to learn more from these folks and was able to go back to his client with the answers he was looking for.

And that $200M business owner sent a referral to Kev, one of his good buddies, because he loved the service that Kev was providing. Here’s what happened:

That business owner was out golfing at his private club and ended up telling his buddy what he was doing (another pretty successful business owner). And, you know how these conversations go. They start talking about these things and were talking pretty highly about Kev. And, so this other guy wanted to meet him. Turns out he owned about $100M of commercial real estate.

And, just a side note here. This new guy with the real estate empire had an Advisor, an Accountant, a Lawyer, etc. But, all of that fell by the wayside. He now wanted to meet Kev.

My point in telling you all these side stories is that this whole “See The People” and provide value is rare. People get horrible service from their providers. People don’t go above and beyond. And, when you start doing that, you’re like this Unicorn sitting on a mountaintop with sparkles shooting to the sky. People don’t know what to do with you. So, they do the most natural thing in the world:

They Tell Their Friends.

And, if you’re hanging around with people who have money, all their friends have money.

Now, there’s no amount of advertising that could get you into this position, because as we know, word of mouth is the most powerful tool you have.

I’ve heard people say that brand is really: What People Say About You When You’re Not Around

I think that’s true. But, it actually easier to do than you think. You just have to do things others won’t do. Like go out of your way to help people and not be so focused on yourself. It will eventually come back to you.

After each referral this large business owner sent over, Kev would send a handwritten letter to thank him for the referral (something I’ll teach in the next few weeks). And, after the first one this business owner sent him a text:

“Kev, I value you so much. I wanted to keep you a secret, but I have too many friends that I know you can help. Golf next Friday?”

I want to break this down for a second. Here was a business owner, one of the wealthiest in the city. He could probably get any Advisor he wanted, because he was in demand. But, his view and brand of Kev was that this man was incredibly helpful – in his mind, he would go the extra mile. I mean, he helped his mother with some issues she was having and she referred him over. And, he loved what he did, so now he was recommending him to his friends. It all started with Kev, not looking out for himself, but providing valuable advice, connections or ideas to these people.

I want you to repeat this to yourself:

Focusing on others and providing value will eventually come back to help you. But, you need to be focused on others and helping them FIRST, before it comes back to you.

The point I’m making and I hope I’m hitting you over the head with this again and again is that to be successful with the system I teach, you need to be seeing a lot of people (at least at the beginning) and being 100% focused on them and hunting for ways to provide value. I’ll teach you how to strategically focus on the right people and show you ways to provide the value. But, at the end of the day, why Kev and many others that I teach have had so much success is that they’re focused on those core activities.

And, they were not focused on selling a product, but instead focused on helping the person in front of them solve the issues they are facing (usually not even financial planning).

When you do that, you become valuable to them. And, they naturally want to help you. They will eventually ask:

How Can I Help You?

And, I’ll not only show you how to answer that question, but use it as a spring board to get even more referrals.

There’s another thing I want to make 100% clear here. I do not teach and nor did Kev or any of my other students ever build their referral business by asking for referrals. My system does not teach about asking for referrals. So, get that outdated idea from your mind.

First off, those are incredibly uncomfortable conversations. No one wants to be in them. You don’t and they don’t. So, we won’t be doing any of that.

Second, that’s not how referrals work.

Here’s what a referral really is in my mind. It’s when you meet/talk with someone and they are experiencing pain/discomfort/problems and you know that there is someone who can help them with their problems, so you make a referral to this person. The goal of the referral is to help your friend/client/connection take away the pain. The goal of the referral is never to help the person you are making the referral to. That’s an added benefit, but not how referrals work.

I’ll give you an example. Let’s say I was talking with my best friend Jeremy, and he said the following to me:

“Gee Andrew, I’m having so many issues with my toilets. And, my bathroom sink is so clogged it takes like 45 minutes to drain after you brush your teeth.”

This is clearly someone I love and respect having all this pain with their plumbing. So, if I had a good plumber (and by the way I do), I could make a referral to this plumber. But, I’m not doing it to help the plumber. I’m doing it to help my friend Jeremy, so he can brush his teeth in his own sink.

So, let’s say I make the referral to the plumber and he goes over to Jeremy’s house and fixes the problem (which is the likely outcome here). Now Jeremy is happy because his sink works again, I’m happy because I helped Jeremy and the plumber is happy, because he got a referral and did his job and of course got paid.

In this whole situation, everyone is happy. No one felt weird. And, everyone benefitted from the referral. This is what I teach. Building these types of relationships to build your business, but to do it in a completely organic way. I know this takes more time. But, any relationship worth building will take time. Relationships take time, but when you build them the right way, they are nearly indestructible, so long as you nurture them.

Again, this all goes back to cause and effect. Go out there and see the people and add the value and you’ll start to be viewed differently in their mind. And, you keep yourself top of mind, so when they come across a person who might benefit from your services and a referral possibility comes up, who are they thinking about?

YOU.

I mean, how in the world would you ever be able to go after a $200M business owner or whoever you want. If you attack them from the front, they’ll have their defences up and you’ll be in a weaker position, because you’re selling yourself. Plus, you’d be just like everyone else trying to go after their business. And, it probably wouldn’t work, because that’s not how you get clients like that.

But, the other way, when people they love and trust are selling how great you are, you can come in with all your power and just solve their issues.

Before I move on, I want to make something else clear. This isn’t all that you do. It’s not just see the people. And, it’s not just provide value. I do have a system of activities. But also, some people just don’t refer people. Actually, in my research, only about 20-30% of your clients and COIs will ever even consider referring. So, even if you do the best job about what I’m talking about, some people just won’t refer. That’s ok, my system has a way to account for all of this, which I’ll explain next week.

The other thing about Kev’s original process of helping anyone, clearly led to some good clients. But, it also lead to a bunch of random, not great individuals. Now, since he was early in his career, he took everyone. But, it was almost comical. One meeting was with a business owner worth $200M and the next was construction worker with a drinking problem earning $35,000 a year trying to save money. I’m not saying don’t work with the construction worker. But, his throw everything at the wall and see what sticks meant that some of the referrals he was getting, just wasn’t the business he wanted. Now, he was at the beginning of his career, so he took everything. But, afterwards (and how I teach this), you can zero in on the “ideal clients” you want and even train your referral sources to only send those people you absolutely want.

I just want to impress upon you that once you start up the system, it will work. You might get a ton of people you don’t want, but I’ll help you fine tune that. Just know that see the people works.

One more story before we move on. Kev was getting a lot of referrals at this point, some really great and some not so great, but one of the good ones came from that real estate mogul worth about $100M.

Instead of referring Kev to some of his friends, he actually invited Kev to what he calls the “3-Hour Supper”. If you haven’t heard about his, it’s like a super targeted networking event, but exclusive.

So here’s how it works. You invite 3-4 people to supper (or lunch), it doesn’t have to be 3-hours, but it just usually ends up being that long. You have some drinks, apps, supper, dessert, etc. But, the important part is the people you invite should all be a bit different, ie. Not all the same profession.

At this supper was Kev and this business owner of course, but there was also a mortgage broker (one of the biggest), a tech founder, a lawyer and guy who was a property developer. Turns out they all knew everyone except Kev. But, this business owner who set the whole thing up thought Kev would be an interesting mix to the group and they’d all benefit with him being there.

Anyways, they had a bunch of fun talking business and swapping stories. They learnt what everyone did and didn’t do, etc. A pure networking supper. But, of course they got to know each other on a personal level. Then the business owner said he’d connect everyone together with email addresses, etc, if they wanted to continue any of those discussions. It was fucking brilliant. This is how networking events should be.

The reason I tell you that story is that some of the things that I teach and that Kev implemented in his process actually came from the other business owners and connections he met along the way. They were doing some of these things naturally. They were natural born connectors (evidenced why they were so successful already – it wasn’t luck, they knew what they were doing). I do teach using this as a strategy to build massive levels of value through the chain, but it all came from this one business owner.

Suffice to say, Kev did connect with all those attendees after the event for a 1-on-1 lunch or coffee and over time turned them into referral sources (and some to clients too).

I think I’ve laid the groundwork for what I want to teach. But, the point I want to leave you with in this, you have to do the activity to get the results or as the old saying goes:

You can’t ask a cold stove to give you heat before putting wood in it.

You have to do the work. So, on that note, I’ll see you next week to get into the process.

Andrew