The Advisor who stopped going for drinks

I just got back from the PPI Symposium at the Queen’s Landing in Niagara-on-the-Lake.

About six hours each way. Long drive. I took the scenic route and the 407, skipped the 401 entirely. Had a Tom Clancy audiobook going for the ride there and back. Picked up a few things along the way. It was one of those trips where the drive itself gives you time to process everything you just experienced.

And there was a lot to process.

It was a great conference overall, but I want to tell you about the breakout session I hosted. Because something happened in that room that I think every advisor reading this needs to hear.

30 advisors, one question

I ran a workshop for about 30 advisors. The session was built around a simple premise: how do you free up time in your practice so you can go do the things that actually grow your business?

Because here’s the reality. If you’re running a decent practice, you’re probably busy. You might even feel maxed out. There’s no slack in the calendar. No breathing room. And that means there’s no time left for the activities that would actually move things forward.

So the question becomes: where is your time going, and can any of it be shifted?

Maybe you’re the advisor who requests every single in-force illustration yourself. Maybe when you go to a carrier or your MGA for an illustration, it comes back wrong, and you’re spending an hour fixing it or going back and forth. Maybe you’re doing work that someone else could do if you just took the time to train them properly or had a conversation about how your business actually works.

The idea behind the workshop was this. Identify one key relationship in your business that you think could be improved. Your relationship with your MGA support team. With a carrier’s back office. With an assistant or a junior advisor. Whatever it is. Then figure out: what’s one thing you could do today, one conversation you could have, one small piece of work you could put in, that would make that relationship run smoother going forward?

Not a massive overhaul. Not a new hire. Just one adjustment that saves you time on a recurring basis. Because those small adjustments compound. You fix one thing this month, another thing next month, and six months from now your calendar looks completely different.

That was the framework. And as we worked through it together, people started identifying real, specific things they could change. It was a good session.

But then something happened that shifted the whole conversation.

The gentleman who stopped going for drinks

One of the advisors in the room raised his hand and shared something that I think landed with everyone.

He said that before COVID, he used to go out for drinks with his clients regularly. It was just part of how he did business. He’d meet a client at a bar, they’d have a couple of drinks, catch up, and inevitably the conversation would turn to something useful. A case they hadn’t discussed. A referral opportunity. A family member who needed help. It just happened naturally in that setting.

Then COVID hit. Everything moved virtual.

And here’s the part that stuck with me. He said that when COVID wound down, the virtual meetings stayed. Because they were more efficient. He could have more meetings in a day. No drive time. No parking. No hour and a half lost to a casual dinner when he could do a 30-minute Zoom and move on to the next thing.

Which is true. Virtual is more efficient. Nobody’s arguing that.

But then he said something that I think every advisor in that room felt. He said that since he stopped going for drinks, the referrals dried up. The case ideas stopped coming. The relationship was still there, technically, but the energy behind it had changed. The conversations were transactional now. Efficient, yes. But flat.

And he said, “I think I need to go back to going for drinks.”

The room went quiet for a second. Because I think a lot of people in that room recognized themselves in that story.

The science behind why this works

Here’s what most people don’t realize. There’s actually a biological reason why sharing a meal or a drink with someone creates a different kind of connection than a Zoom call.

When you share a social experience with someone, when you sit across from them at a restaurant, when you have a beer together, when you break bread, your brain releases oxytocin. It’s sometimes called the bonding hormone. It’s the same chemical that’s involved in building trust between people. It’s released during physical proximity, shared experiences, and communal eating and drinking.

This isn’t motivational speaker stuff. It’s neuroscience. When you eat and drink with someone, your body is literally wiring you to trust each other at a deeper level.

And here’s my honest take on this. I don’t think you can replicate that through a screen. Maybe there’s some element of connection on a video call. I’m sure there is. But it’s not the same. The chemistry, and I mean that literally, doesn’t fire the same way when you’re looking at a grid of faces on a laptop.

I said this to the room, and then I pointed to the conference itself as proof.

Look at what’s happening right now

Think about what we just did at this Symposium.

We went to the sessions. Great. Educational. Valuable.

But then we went to the cocktail hour. And at the cocktail hour, the real conversations started. People loosened up. Stories came out. Connections happened.

Then we went to dinner. And at dinner, there’s wine on the table, there’s good food, and the conversations go deeper. People are sharing things they wouldn’t share on a Zoom call. Business ideas. Challenges. Opportunities. Real stuff.

And then after dinner, a group of us ended up at the bar. Whiskey sours. 2021 Niagara wines. Old Fashioneds. And the conversation kept going. Stories that lasted hours. The kind of stories you remember months later. The kind of night where you walk away feeling genuinely connected to the people in that room.

That bonding, that trust, that closeness, it happened because we were together. Face to face. Sharing experiences. Sharing food and drinks. Sharing time.

We can all agree on this. That doesn’t happen on a Zoom call. It doesn’t happen through email. It doesn’t happen through a LinkedIn message. It only happens when you’re in the room together.

“I should just go see my clients more often”

After the session ended, a gentleman came up to me. He said something I’ve been thinking about ever since.

He said, “Honestly, I didn’t fully understand what the session was going to be about when I walked in. But the thing I got out of it is that I should just go and see my clients more often.”

And I said, yes.

If you’ve been in this industry long enough, you’ve probably heard of the book “See the People.” It’s one of the classic books in our business. And the principle is as simple as the title. Go see the people.

I believe that. I believe you need to go see people more often. I believe you should host events more often. I think you should run small events, like the lunches and dinners I’ve been writing about in this newsletter. Medium-sized events with eight to twelve people. And yes, I think you should organize big events too.

Speaking of which, I want to tease something.

You’re going to hear soon that I’m organizing one of the biggest events in Canadian financial services. It’s going to be in Ottawa. It’s going to be in September. I can’t share all the details yet, but I wanted to plant the seed now. This is going to be something special, and I really hope you’ll come out for it. More information soon.

The Advisor Event Engine

If you’ve been reading this and thinking, okay, I’m convinced, I need to be running more events and seeing more people, the next question is how.

How do you plan them? Who do you invite? How do you make them work on different budgets? What types of events produce the best results? What mistakes do you need to avoid? How do you turn a single lunch into an ongoing relationship machine?

That’s exactly what I wrote about in the Advisor Event Engine. It’s the system I’ve built from running 40-plus events over the last two years. Everything I’ve learned about what works, what doesn’t, and how to make it sustainable.

And as of this week, we’ve got our first review. Five stars, from Stephanie. If you’re on the fence or you’re wondering if this is going to be worth your time, click the link below, go to the page, and read her review. She shared the value she got out of it.

I genuinely believe that if you buy this book, read it, and actually implement what’s in it for twelve months, you can’t not see results. I’ll show you how to do it. Step by step.

Go see the people. Run the events. Bond with them. Do it consistently. That’s what’s going to drive your business forward.

Talk soon,

Andrew